It’s that time of year again, a time when Aires delves into spooky and otherworldly stories from the world of relocation. In the past, we’ve explored the horrors of relocating on your own, and we’ve managed the move of a family that might be more than it seems. This year, we’re taking things to a whole new universe, managing the interdimensional relocation for an employee. Join us now as we conduct our initial consultation call with the lucky transferee.
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Hi, and congratulations on your upcoming interdimensional assignment! My name is Arthur, and I’ll be your Aires counselor today. I just have a few questions for you so we can get your relocation underway. First off, I want to commend you on raising your hand to be relocated to Galaxy 2. Your company, Judy Jetson, Inc., is excited and proud to be a leader in the galactic manufacturing space, and they are excited to offer the benefits I’m going to talk to you about today.
Where am I located, you may ask? I’m in Aires’ Bridge Dimension 2.0, so I’ll be in both of your time zones at all times. Yeah, the hologram intergalactic consultation is part of our standard offerings from this dimension. This way you can see my face!
Have you ever traveled inter-dimensionally before? No, well, no problem. We’ve had other assignees describe it as “the weirdest rollercoaster they’ve ever been on” or “like spinning so hard on a merry-go-round that you feel like you no longer exist.” But, not to worry, you were approved for first class travel in the hyper ship so you’ll have lots of leg room.
I know you’ve spoken with our partner, International Time & Space Authority regarding your Galaxy 2 visas, correct? Great. Those will ensure that you and your partner will have all the clearances needed to work in-galaxy. What’s that? Your space flu shots? Oh yeah, you can go ahead and get those done and submit the receipts for reimbursement. Those are both covered by policy. Per policy, you’re authorized up to 30 days in temporary living pods. Oh! You’re going straight to your new rental? Awesome. You’re going with Biosphere 99? Great, I’ve heard wonderful things about the neighborhood. I think they’re in the middle of the great space dog migration right now. Yeah, cutest thing. Pugs with wings making their way from Galaxy 2 to Galaxy 7.
As far as your household goods shipment, none of the normal furniture here on Earth actually works in Galaxy 2, so your company has authorized a stipend for rental furniture for the duration of your assignment. My personal favorite thing that they offer is a three-in-one shower-espresso-panini maker. It’s really cool.
I’m also happy to help you with the loss-on-sale benefit for your automobile. You’re authorized to have a transportation stipend for your flying car. Mmhmm, exactly, it runs on solar power and can be topped off with stardust at any of the stardust stations for longer journeys. A quick GalaxyGoogle search tells me there’s three within a space mile of your new location.
Judy Jetson, Inc. believes in peaceful coexisting with the locals. I know that the tall green beings with dark eyes are part of our Earth propaganda, but they’re really wonderful to let some of us come over from Earth. You’ll want to learn to speak Klaxorp, and your company offers 6 months due to the complexity of the language. You’ll also get three days of Cultural Training. A couple of the first assignees wish someone would have told them that sneezing is considered gravely rude by the Galaxonians, so if you have to sneeze, it’s a good idea to excuse yourself from the room if you’re in a meeting.
Any questions for me? Ah, no, so your own personal robot assistant isn’t covered, but your company does offer a relocation allowance for that if you’d like to purchase it. Just so you know there is a liability waiver you must sign and upload along with your repayment agreement. Will it steal your things? What? No way. That’s a myth. Oh, the incident with the Smiths? I know, it was on the intergalactic social media feeds for a while, but that wasn’t the robot’s fault. No, they hacked into the AI and gave it true consciousness. Mmhmm. Right, just like that movie.
Anyway, don’t panic! It’s all going to be okay. As your dedicated Aires Interdimensional Mobility Specialist, I’m here for you every step of the way.
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Have an out of this world relocation need? Contact your Aires representative.